Bad Snort's Funny Stuff From The Internets Thread

[John Thomas8]

Polyamory is WRONG

[7rob7]

[optimusprime]

Dropping it like it's hot for Haiti

Ohio strip club hosts 'Lap dances for Haiti'
The Associated Press


TOLEDO, Ohio — A strip club in Ohio has raised $1,000 for Haitian earthquake relief during what was billed as "Lap dances for Haiti."

Marilyn's on Monroe in Toledo donated the $10 cover charges collected Saturday to ISOH (I-S-O-H)/IMPACT, an organization based in suburban Perrysburg that provides food and clothing for Haiti.

Marilyn's general manager Kenny Soprano says his establishment had been looking for a reason to hold a charity fundraiser even before the quake, as a way to improve its image. He says you don't hear much about strip clubs giving back to the community.

[pjhimself]

Protegez Voux

A French ad for condoms
(includes suggestive graphics - but graphics just the same....)

http://dyst.slatev.com/blog/nsfw-incred ... condom-ad/

[John Thomas8]

[John Thomas8]

[7rob7]

[John Thomas8]

Post this PDF next to the HP copier at work on April Fools and watch the fun.

[John Thomas8]

[Mad Gene Vane]

[Mad Gene Vane]

[Mad Gene Vane]

[John Thomas8]

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio , Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for us all here:
Never be arrogant.
Don't waste ammunition.
Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
Always, always make sure you know who has the power
Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.
I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?

[John Thomas8]

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate. Leno

America needs Obama-Care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America ! Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. Letterman

[John Thomas8]

Wiser Now

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.